Well it’s been a long while since I’ve updated this blog and many events have unfolded in our lives.

In October 2017 I started dating a great and sweet man. My friend first and now my boyfriend. AJ has accepted the person I am, my past and my love. My daughter loves him as well and that makes things so much better for me. In August 2017 I decided to leave Washington, DC and transfer to New York, for work related reasons. I am still a train conductor but in NY now. Then I stayed permanently in New York.

Lisa has grown into a beautiful preteen and is back in school already. She’s my light and my everything. She wants to be an astronaut when she grows up, I’m so proud of her and all that she has grown through. She is taller than me now and has an even bigger personality than before!

I have a new website now. http://www.VarArAr.com, I’m finishing up on a book that will be sold on the site but for now it features other amazing artists and some items I’m selling that I made. I’m trying to stay active and continue to work full time. I still enjoy creating and looking at art of all kinds. Enjoy!

Renewal 2016 into 2017

This past year I have been working on bettering myself, learning my new career and exploring new places and foods. I hope next year is just as amazing and full of adventures. This year I had a hard time getting through things because I missed my daughter every step of the way. Being able to see her and spend time with her kept my heart beating and my smile glowing. I love my daughter so much and it is hard to be away from her but I cannot be selfish to what she needs and her happiness. I know she is happy and each year in school and in self growth she develops more and more into a more fascinating young lady. I am so proud of her and her many accomplishments! She is my world and my heart!

This year Lisa and I attended our first Otakon in Baltimore, Maryland. I also went to Awesome Con in Washington, DC for the first time and it was fun. Next year Awesome Con will be something Lisa and I do together instead of Comic Con and she is so excited! We hope to dress up as superheroes and be awesome at Awesome Con!

Here are some photos of what we have done this year:




Career Change

From October-December 2015 I started my new journey by going to school to become an Amtrak Conductor. As an Assistant Conductor our responsibilities are only part of the long list of responsibilities the conductors have. Many people believe Conductors are the person that operates the train in the locomotive, but that’s actually the Engineer. Conductors are the trainmen that work inside the train, making sure everyone is being safe and smart. Training to become a train conductor was not easy. While in school I was not myself. I had to deal with being in an atmosphere that I had never been in before. It was intense and full of knowledge. Graduation couldn’t have come fast enough for me in Delaware. I made it through and now I’m in an amazing career!

Baltimore Comic Con 2015

In September 2015 Lisa and I went to the Baltimore Comic Con for the first time. It was fun and exciting. Lisa dressed as Hermione Granger and I was Ginny Weasley /Bellatrix Lastrange from Harry Potter. BCC was just like the New York Comic Con just not as big and not as many people. Lisa had a blast. She insisted on going although she had surgery on both tendons. Here are some of our favorite characters there.DSC01208DSC01196




The 30th Year

Every year on August 18th, I turn another year older. This year I turn 30 and although everyone says I’m young and have my whole life ahead of me, I can’t help but preview the past. Every year I try to do something new, outside of the norm and adventurous. There are also the traditional events such as Comic Con in New York City and Easter with my family in New Jersey.  Speaking of New York City, I’m still in love and in awe of the view of New York. It can be on ground level or up high from a building, the view still takes my breath away. It never gets old for me. 30 years and I have accomplished very little, in 2004 I graduated High School, in 2008 I finished my contract with the Marine Corps, in 2014 I graduated college, so what now? At 30 I feel I should already have a career, a home, a car and a happy life for me and my daughter. I feel incomplete and unhappy. When I was in the Corps I loved being instructor staff, this year during camp I was as happy as a clam. I slept from 10pm to 6am, got the girls ready with the help of the other counselors, we all went to exercise, eat, enjoy a day full of activities, eat, more activities, dinner, one last activity with the entire camp then off to bed. It was a positive and healthy change from the overnight shift I did 40 hours or more a week. If only I could make a career out of camp week. Well let’s see what the next 30 years will bring for this hardworking Leo.

NJNG Youth Camp 2015

For More Photos go to http://www.Facebook.com/SplendorOfAmusement, please follow and like.

In 1996 I was a camper in the New Jersey National Guard Youth Camp for the first time. Three years later I was a “Purple Person” (aka Foxtrot). Three years after that and I was a Junior Counselor. Then I became a Marine. I visited camp when I could but my orders had me away for a while. Then I came back and was a Senior Counselor for three years. I had to miss more years because my daughter, Lisa, wasn’t old enough to attend as a camper. Finally this year Lisa started as a camper and I returned as a Senior Counselor! It was well worth it! I saw some familiar faces and I had the pleasure of meeting some new ones. 

The experience throughout the years at camp changes but the joy of being there never fades! 

This year I was the Senior Counselor for Bravo Company! Those 27 children, 5 Junior Counselors and 4 Senior Counselors became my family and in the words of Mr. Cole, “my children” for the entire week. They made me laugh, smile, cry and motivated! I’m proud of every single one of them. I’m also proud of my daughter, she was well behaved and enjoyed her first year. She already wants to go back.

More photos and writing to come…

“January, February, March & April…”

For months now I have fallen “behind” on my postings here on my site. Life usually gets in the way for many but I don’t consider life as something that is in the way. Life is life, it isn’t going to change, improve or go anywhere if we don’t take the steps in the direction of positive change and choices.

Currently I’m going through a divorce, a move and a hard time with getting myself back on my feet. I continue to start my day with a smile and optimistic personality because it is not going to improve or help me to become depressed, negative or constantly unhappy. There are times that I have a “slow” day, however; those days aren’t going to define me.

I guess what is really on my mind is the world I didn’t realize I was living in. The words that come out of peoples’ mouths no longer shock me. Here’s what happened: One day (June 2014) my ex-husband suddenly asked me for a divorce, he tried to explain to me that I didn’t do anything wrong, that it wasn’t me, I’m a wonderful woman and wife and he loves me. He said he just wanted to be alone and didn’t want to hold me back. For 6 months I tried to reconcile, “fix” and suggest ways to make it work but it didn’t. I even suggested all forms of counseling, he continued to stay on the path he decided alone. I moved out, started the divorce process with him and am ready to move on with my life. It’s been 10 months. When people ask me the ridiculous questions or make even more ridiculous comments I do my best to answer it without an attitude or ignore them completely. Here’s what I’ve heard and how I feel about it.

Person A: “I’m sorry to hear that, divorce is not fun…. why did you want a divorce?”                                           Me: What makes you think it was my choice? Why do you assume I wanted this?

Person B: “Oh no..which one of you cheated?”                                                                                                          Me: Why do you assume one of us cheated? I don’t know if he cheated but infidelity isn’t always the reason for divorce.

Person C: “Don’t you want to fix it? Stay married?”                                                                                                 Me: (Exaggerated) Noooooo, not at all, I wanted this to happen to me, it’s a wonderful experience! DUH!! I can’t control what he does, how he feels and I can’t force him to stay married to me. Not all broken things have a glue to fix it.

Person D & E: “Now that you’re single, you and I can go out!” “Want to be my friend with benefits?”             Me: WOW! You don’t know me at all! No I will not go out with you or be your friend with benefits. I’m just getting over someone, he wasn’t my friend with benefits, my boyfriend or fiance, he was my HUSBAND, someone who I vowed to dedicate my life to. I’m sorry, not sorry, that I don’t want to jump into bed or a relationship with someone else. Get over yourself.

Person F: “What did you do to make him ask for a divorce?”                                                                                                   Me: Oh, that’s right, I forgot it’s my fault. I worked, graduated college, cooked, cleaned, organized our home, shopped for groceries, shopped for necessities, bought birthday/Christmas/holiday gifts and necessities for both of our families, I canceled plans or didn’t make plans with my friends so he didn’t come home to an empty home, I put him before myself, I changed and canceled plans so him and I can do things together, I was readily available for him 24/7 intimately, and that’s just the half of the things I did “to him.” I can see now what I did to make him want a divorce.

Person G: “Just get over him, don’t worry about him and move on with your own life.”                                       Me: Oh, is my time of pain and healing not fast enough for you?

Those are just a few examples, and of course a few of them would say this is me being bitter. I’m not bitter, but I’m sure if the person calling me bitter went through anything negative or painful in their lives, they will be the first person to be negative, depressed and very bitter. I’m simply expressing myself in a healthy and opinionated manner.

I’ve finally reached a point in my life where I am happy. How did this happen? I accepted the inevitable and created a new plan for my future. One that involves a change of scenary for my home and my job/career. I am doing what I want to do to create a better life for my daughter and myself. That has always been priority number one but I lost sight of that when I remarried. Now that I’m divorced, I can get back on track and give my daughter what she deserves and what I deserve, a life for her and myself that involves more time spent together and more of my involvement. This will also open new doors for this blog and my websites. I hope you all continue with me on this journey known as my life.